Dear Advy,
I practice in a small, remote community. The wellness resources everyone recommends assume I have easy access to therapists, peer groups, and anonymity, none of which really exist where I am. I noticed in past articles that solo isolation has been covered, but not the specific rural/remote and small-community-anonymity problem. What are my options when the usual advice doesn't fit my geography?
Lonely Island Lawyer
Dear LIL,
I’m not sure which wellness resources list you have been looking at/being told about, so I am making some assumptions here. You can find contact information for lawyer assistance programs (often called "LAPs") across Canada on the CBA Well-Being web page. I assume you’re looking at the list for your local lawyer assistance program that you will find there and if not that, something approximating it. Probably the most important resource on that list you've been looking at is the phone number for your LAP.
If there are no obvious resources available to you on the list of services available from your LAP, that may be because:
- the website/list you're looking at is not very clear.
- the LAP has not given much thought to how to deliver programs remotely.
- the LAP is short of resources to deliver programs in more remote locations.
- some combination of the above.
The only way you're going to find out which one applies is to contact them and ask about what’s available to you in your location and practice context. In general, lawyer assistance programs are staffed by people who want very much to help everyone in their jurisdiction. If they don't currently serve your needs, they are probably motivated to find ways to do exactly that if you give them the opportunity to try.
I mention above the possibility that some resources might not be readily available to you because LAP hasn’t thought about providing them in your area because most of the time when gaps exist, it’s for that very reason. The people at your LAP want to serve people in your situation but we humans have a hard time thinking about what life is like outside of our own immediate environment. Here’s the great thing about that: If they truly don’t offer it because they weren’t thinking about it before you called, they’re guaranteed to be thinking about it after you call. In other words, your call can make the difference between something you need being unavailable, and making it become available. Just by calling your LAP you may be helping not only yourself but other people in a similar situation.
It may also be the case that there is more available to you than appears to be the case. Someone at a LAP office can probably connect you to the help you need no matter where you are. I suspect that there is much more available to you than meets the eye.
Here's another caveat: I don't know which province or territory you live in. How responsive your local lawyer assistance program is likely to be will vary greatly across the country. Again, you won't know that unless and until you call them.
Counselling
One of the core functions of lawyer assistance programs is delivering professional counselling services. Just about every jurisdiction in Canada makes that available, and your local LAP can explain how best to use those services. Before the COVID-19 pandemic, I would have agreed with you that counselling services had greater availability in urban centres than in smaller and more remote locations. However, one of the salutary outcomes of that terrible event was that everybody got good at working remotely. Even in large urban centers, people have discovered since the pandemic that it’s nice not to have to fight traffic, look for parking, and do all the other things involved in going to a regular in-person appointment.
Consequently, most counsellors now have the skills and the willingness to provide you with help over a video link or telephone. I would be surprised if there was still any LAP in our country that doesn’t mandate making counselling available by video or phone. Even outside what a LAP provides, therapists have had to adapt to the reality of a world where people are more comfortable than ever interacting over video or phone. Some even provide therapy over text messaging. You will probably find counselling services are just as available to you where you are as they would be in the middle of a big city.
Peer Support
Many LAPs also provide peer support. A peer support program matches you with someone who has gone through or is going through similar issues as you are facing. The idea is that you can have the support of someone who has walked in your shoes, so to speak, and can give you advice - or just listen - when you face difficulties. For the same reasons as I’ve described related to professional counseling services, most peer support programs and most peer support volunteers are amenable to providing help over video or over telephone or some combination of those.
That can have an added benefit in a more remote location. As you have mentioned, you would prefer not to have to encounter on a case you are handling the same lawyer who is paired with you as a peer supporter. Your peer support relationship should allow you to be vulnerable and tell your peer "buddy" things you would not tell someone you deal with professionally. The smaller your local bar is, the greater the chance that the same person you discussed your struggle with alcohol with (for example) is now representing the opposing party in a bitter legal dispute. That can make for some awkward conversations with that lawyer and, more importantly, anticipating those awkward conversations may make you less willing to be candid about what is troubling you. Distance, then, can be a good thing when it comes to a peer relationship.
LAPS have also realized that “distance” is a virtue in peer support programs in more ways than just geographical distance. The aim is to find someone you can lean on for support without fear of ever having to encounter that person professionally. That means they take care to match people who are unlikely to have files together even when the person calling is from a city. If your LAP provides a peer support matching program, it is almost certain that yours is not the first peer support request where they need to take some kind of distance into account. They can pair you with someone far away from where you practice giving you the kind of anonymity and distance you need.
Community/ educational events and other resources
Your local LAP may well have some offerings that are simply not available in your location, yes. LAPS provide a wide variety of supports beyond peer support and counselling. Many provide educational seminars, community get-togethers, and other wonderful programs. One LAP in Canada developed out of a running club and now provides all kinds of great programming. Some of those events might be confined geographically. However, it is likely there is more that is available at a distance than you think. Some jurisdictions will let people from other provinces and territories register for their online seminars etc., so you may not even be confined to what is available in your home jurisdiction. There is an episode of The Well-Being Hour all about well-being programs available online. Again, the best thing to do is to just call your LAP.
There are also opportunities to make connections with your peers outside of what LAPs offer. Yes, there will be some of those that are not easily accessible from a remote location, but many are. Joining groups of your peers online is a great way to reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness. Persistent loneliness can be a serious risk to your physical and mental health. I’ll talk about that later.
Nearly every essential service of lawyer assistance programs can be provided remotely. Many of the non-core services they offer (and that groups like the CBA offer) are also available remotely. If you have access to a phone or internet or both, you can access those services.
As with anything, use reliable information
When you’re doing legal research, you are probably careful about using reliable sources. Misinformation, and disinformation is rampant these days as we all know already. I don’t know who the “everyone” you mention is that are recommending resources that you can’t access but consider the possibility that what they are telling you is not accurate.
As I said above, I am assuming that the list of resources you are looking at or that people are telling you about is the list of what is available from your LAP. Maybe you haven’t looked there. If not, I must ask: Why not? LAPS provide these services for my favourite price: free! In just about every case, any service you receive from the LAP will be confidential. To the extent that any LAP services are not anonymous (such as online workshops where you have to register) your LAP will probably tell you that up front.
You have nothing to lose. Check the LAP’s web page, find their phone number, and call.
Create Your Own Support Community
One of the best things you can do for yourself as a preventative measure is to make connections with other people, including other lawyers, in your own community. I know that sounds like I am contradicting what I just told you about the value of distance. Yes, a local connection may not provide you with the safe space to unburden yourself that professional counseling or peer support do, but having positive relationships with people nearby is one of the best ways of preventing and mitigating conditions like depression, anxiety and more.
Going for a regular walk (or having coffee, or playing hockey, or whatever) with a colleague or friend may never leave you feeling safe enough to divulge serious problems. That’s not the point. Just the simple act of spending time with other people who have some common experience with you can help you feel less isolated.
That’s not a substitute for the more formal resources you are thinking about, but it does help a lot. This is not an either/or choice. Consider reaching out to someone or a group of someones who could fulfill this gap for you and calling your local LAP to find out what they can provide you in terms of more targeted resources.
Be well,
Advy
