Gravitas. The very sound of the word conveys its meaning. Gravitas is the thing you lose and can never reclaim after the firm’s managing partner has seen you humping the floor at the holiday cocktail party during an old school break-dancing routine gone terribly wrong.
My rule is simple and applies especially if the event is held on firm premises. Refrain from engaging in dancing of any kind, including raising the arms above shoulder level, getting a groove on with gently swaying hips or worse yet, rhythmic pelvic thrusts. Abstaining from the consumption of alcohol will dramatically increase your chances of not unleashing your hips or other body parts on the dance floor.
Notwithstanding the facetious nature of this recommendation, it serves as an example of how quickly and irrevocably your brand can be damaged. It also serves as a reminder to be vigilant about maintaining your professional credibility, especially in a social context. You are always under scrutiny. The firm party may be a social event, but you are still at the office. Building your brand and networking should be your main preoccupations at the firm social.
I believe that the firm party is the ultimate litmus test for executive presence: gravitas. Never forget that you are being watched and judged by your superiors, by the firm leadership, and by your peers. Do you want to go down in firm lore as the lawyer who got “totally plastered” at the holiday party?
The sound reasons to abstain entirely from alcohol or to drink responsibly at a firm function are too numerous to list, but here is one: alcohol makes you dumb(er), because it removes inhibition.We all know that social catastrophe can result from a loss of inhibition; we have all seen it. Some of us have lived it.
And stay away from the buffet table. You should always have a free hand for greeting others. Firm social events present a golden opportunity for you to develop and hone your networking skills. In order to be fully in control of your senses and movements during the firm party, eat little and drink less or not at all.
Have an action plan for the party. Determine when to go in and when to get out. Always bring a date: ask a colleague to accompany you or to meet you there, or bribe your assistant to go with you. You don’t want to go in and wonder aimlessly through the crowd; you naturally gravitate towards the shrimp. Your attitude should be that of the seasoned and expansive host who is fully in control of her element.
Plan to speak to at least two of your peers whom you have not met and accost at least two influential members of the firm. It has been my experience that in civilized societies, people will seldom spit at you or run screaming in the other direction when you approach them with a smile at a party. Mentally prepare a broad outline of what you are going to talk about ahead of time.
Keep it simple. You can use the same script for everyone, discuss firm policy, talk about what a great party it is or ask about their weekend or holiday plans, whatever. Know when to end the conversation smoothly. This is a tough one to master. “Would you like some shrimp? I am going to sample the offerings at the buffet table” is a perfectly adequate albeit unoriginal withdrawal from a conversation.
The point is to become comfortable with the exercise of introducing yourself to other business people, boosting your likeability quotient, and engaging the attention of another person for purely selfish motives. That is networking and the more you do it, the more natural it will feel. More importantly, networking pays big dividends in the long run!
Sandra Rossier is a tax lawyer in Toronto.