Stress Busters: Sanity Savers, Practical Tips

Ron Profit

Introduction
Finances
Firm Practice
Family
Friends
Fitness (Fun & Frolic)

1. Introduction

There are many aspects of our legal profession that cause stress—pressure of billable hours; pressure to collect fees; long hours; the detailed and exacting nature of our work accompanied by severe consequences if otherwise; increasingly, the expectation of a quick turn around; conflicted and sometimes disturbed clients; and an adversarial environment where a fellow lawyer is paid to attack you and your client, to try to prove you wrong and sometimes stupid, all in front of your client who is to pay you for your brilliance, abilities and advocacy. Add to that a family law practice and the most troubling of human emotions, and I sure can use stressbuster tips.

I have been helped by many in our profession towards a less stressful and more rewarding legal practice – by their example, personal reflections, advice. All I need to do is listen, observe, note, remind myself and to practice the stressbuster tips. Not always so simple.

To make it simpler, we at our CBA National Family Law Section Meetings have gathered dozens of stressbuster tips. These, and other tips that I have picked up along the way, I wish to pass along—to better your life, your job, your family, your friends. I hope these stressbuster tips help you.

Some tips have universal appeal; and some help a few. Some tips really, really help me; and some do little for me. Some tips I have always used; and some never even occurred to me—and yet make so much sense, I wonder how I missed them.

Here they are:

2. Finances

Get Paid: Wrongly placed empathy, not having retainers and not collecting fees leads to long, stressful and unpaid hours.
1. Limited Concentration - Tell clients you can only concentrate on one matter at a time. Concentrating on getting paid means you cannot concentrate properly on the file.
2. Credit Cards - Have clients sign credit authorization, and then use their credit card.
3. No Obligation Consultations - Do a no obligation introductory consultation for $300.00, taxes included. Also, provide a package of materials and a boiler plate letter about the law firm and yourself.
4. Manage Fee Expectations - Most complaints, most lawyer/client problems are basically fee disputes. Starting with the first meeting and your Retainer Agreement, communicate frankly and often about your hourly rate and legal fees (project on the high side). Be proud of the services you provide and be proud to tell your clients how much your services are worth.
Record Time: Faithfully and completely record time. Write down a fee when billing, not when recording.
Know When To Say No, To Dump, To Pass On:
1. Lawyer's Nature - Far too often, it is the lawyer's nature to give individuals one more chance; to be honored to be asked, and thus say "yes"; to think no one else can do it as good or right; to not delegate; to not trust, or to second guess your gut.
2. Dog Files - Every so often, exchange with an associate dog files that can not be dumped.
3. "No" - Practice how to, and then say, "no". Listen to your gut.
4. This Is For You - Pass to staff activities we normally do ourselves. Empower others with new responsibilities and privileges.
5. So-Long - Every four months, get rid of your three worst clients. Get rid of the clients who are uncooperative, overly demanding, liars, questioning your advice or who do not pay.
Plan: Planning is critical to control and enhance your practice, your life and your contentment. Do not back away from fantasizing and creativity when planning.
1. Annual Planning - Beginning each year, plan billable hours, hourly rate, community/volunteer time, vacations, recreation/entertainment, etc. Ask what are your expectations of law, the legal system and of yourself. Determine how much you want to earn, and accordingly gauge the billable hours. Review your annual plan throughout the year.
2. Vacations - Schedule long weekends, and annual vacations of at least 3 weeks. Do not enter the office during vacations—assign, delegate, put off the work until you return.
3. "I'm Out of Here" - Spontaneously take the day or afternoon off. You have earned it.
4. Realism - Set realistic expectations of yourself and others.
Income: Enjoy your income.
1. Play Money - Each month put aside some income, no matter how little, for play money.
2. Spend - Do not skimp to save for your "adult" children.

3. Firm Practice

Courtesy: Maintain courtesy and show respect for fellow lawyers, the profession, associates, clients and yourself.
1. No Adversarial - Remove the adversarial tone. "Kill with kindness" the difficult or rude lawyer. Use politeness and/or humour to respond to snotty letters and to problem clients (“Thank you for …”). Striking back and anger are self-destructive, counter-productive and can cause burnout.
2. Silence - Use a long pause when the individual's tirade ends. Know when to remain quiet—sometimes what you do not say is more important than what you do say.
3. Apologize - Take responsibility and appropriately apologize when you have done or said something wrong. Apologize if 24 hours later you are still justifying to yourself your behaviour. Apologies are impressive and nurture serenity.
4. Manage Feelings - Do not sweat the small stuff. Maintain perspective. Manage your feelings so they are expressed appropriately and effectively. Post “Do not take it personally” on the fridge, work desk and Court notepad.
5. Resentment - Rid yourself of resentment. Resentment is a burden that causes burnout or a rage response over nothing or minor incidents.
6. I Like You - Preserve relationships with fellow lawyers.
7. Fun Times - Decorate the workplace of your secretary, assistant, or an associate. Have a 1 hour lawyer/staff social at day's end or week's end (i.e. TGIF, Weepers).
8. Humour/Laughter - Create, invite and nurture humor/laughter as effective tools in your practice and personal life. Humour carries or enhances most other stressbusting tips.
9. Be Positive - Focus and comment upon positive aspects of your firm, and your fellow lawyers.
Manage Client Expectations: High expectations and pressure go hand-in-hand.
1. No "Yes-Man" - Do not let your client's pressure and your empathy result in telling the client what they want to hear. When there is a grey-area in the law, clearly tell your client. When you do not know the law, tell your client so and that you will examine the law; or refer your client elsewhere.
2. Disaster Files - Communicate to your client, verbally and in writing, when the file is heading for disaster.
3. “Oh No!” - Deliver bad news early in the day.
4. Fees - At first meeting, tell clients about fees.
Stay On Track: Tips to keep on track and on focus allow you to take control of your practice and life, and to better serve the client:
1. "To-Do" List - Update your "to-do" list daily. Keep a pocket book for to-do's/reminders.
2. Double Time - Double the time you think for each task. Do not cram too much in each day—be reasonable, be realistic.
3. Limit Files - Limit the files you take. As need be, for a time, do not take or refer files.
4. Commitments - Keep your commitments, but make as few as possible. State it will take twice as long as you think it will; and if you complete it earlier, you will dazzle your client. If you cannot honor a commitment (i.e. getting a letter done), then call and apologize as soon as possible, and before they call.
5. Do Not Disturb - Post "Do Not Disturb" on your door and phone—frequently.
6. Musical Chairs - For a day, shift to another desk or office to work on that one or two pressing files, away from interruptions and for a change of scenery.
7. Set Times - Set times each day to return messages and to organize the next day's work.
8. Clutter Free - Keep your desk and files free of clutter. Discard duplicates from files. Divide files into separate clips for letters, court documents, handwritten notes, financial records, etc.
9. No Meetings - Though still maybe at the office, schedule no phone calls or meetings on Fridays, Mondays and/or after 2:30 p.m. daily.
10. Manage Technology - Control, manage and time your use of technology (i.e. voice mail, e-mail, lap top computer, cell phone). For some, using a computer at client meetings results in client pressure to complete the document then and there, without the benefit of sober second thought. Eliminate cell phones, or limit use to non-business activity—client's should contact you at the office only. Use home technology (i.e. computer) for non-business activity only. For some, voice-mail allows better control of time, limits interruptions, and ensures contact at least by message on the first call.
Manage Hours: Managing work hours brings balance to life.
1. 12 Hour Break - Ensure 12 hours between work days.
2. Lunch Break - Schedule a lunch break everyday away from the office, and with lighthearted people.
3. Your Hours - Work hours that are natural for you. If you are a naturally late riser, do not fight it—begin your day late.
4. Part-Time - If other commitments and interests make part-time work best (i.e. three-day work-weeks or five-hour days), then go for it. Find or start the practice that allows you part-time work.
5. No Work at Home - Keep your work and files at the office.
6. Free Weekends - Work weekdays. Leave weekends for fun, frolic, fanaticizing, family, friends, fitness.
7. Work/Play - Separate work and play.
8. Staff Hours - Consider variations on staff's normal work hours - i.e. take Friday afternoons off and begin days ½ hour earlier.

4. Family

Partners, children, parents, siblings and relatives provide the most joy and can provide the most consternation in your life.

Nurture Relationships: Take the time and capture the opportunities to nurture your family relationships. It is family that will be there for you and affect you the most, now and in your later years. Enjoy your children. Set a good example by providing time for them.
Family Time: Schedule family time in your office scheduler. Do not schedule or allow business phone calls or meetings at home.
Meals with Loved Ones: Schedule everything around the one daily meal with family members or those close to you.
Unlisted: Provide clients with only your business (not home) phone number and business address. Keep your home address out of the phone book. The client that calls you at home seldom pays.
Roles: Identify your most important roles. Then you, no one else, control your roles. Each week, plan the activities in each role.

5. Friends

Positive/Enthusiastic: Associate with positive enthusiastic people, inside and outside business. Avoid "doom and gloom" and "stressed-out" people.
Confidential Group: Join or form a group where sharing occurs and confidences are kept, and meet regularly.
Service Clubs/Fun Groups: Join a service club or fun group for fellowship and service. Do not overdo it. Stay away from Boards.

6. Fitness (Fun & Frolic)

Physical:
1. Exercise - Exercise everyday for 30 minutes or more (not too much). Do stretches at work.
2. Sleep - Sleep 7 or more hours a day.
3. Touch - Get massages. Give massages. Take warm baths. Learn about pressure points. Experience the benefits of healthy touching.
4. Snoozes - Take mid-day snoozes.
5. Food - Eat the right quantity and quality of food.
6. Addictions - Know your addictions, inherited and otherwise. Surrender, get help and help others. Call LPAC at 1-800-667-5722.
Emotional:
1. Reading - Keep handy a book or cartoons (no lawyer stories).
2. Movies - See a movie involving romance, escapism, or lightheartedness (no lawyer movies).
3. Humour - Be involved in, look for and create humour; and laugh a lot (no lawyer jokes).
4. No Shop Talk - Do not talk work outside business hours, unless for therapy (no lawyer bashing).
5. Music - Play your music, recorded or instruments. Sing and dance with reckless abandon.
6. No Regrets - You will wither and die with regrets, misgivings, and guilt. Accept you did the best at the time.
7. Counselling - Know that the ones with their act together are the ones that have gotten counselling for their troubles.
Stress Breaks:
1. Breath - Take deep, slow breaths.
2. 3-Minute Stress Breaks - Stop your work for a few minutes. Use breathing techniques. Shut your eyes or look away from work stimulants. Use silence, peaceful music, or relaxation tapes. Identify irrational or unreasonable thoughts affecting your stress level (perfectionism, control, dedication). Challenge and replace such thoughts with more realistic or reasonable thoughts.
3. Stress Habits - Challenge stress-provoking ways of doing things. Examine and break behavior habits causing stress.
4. Buddy Lawyer - Have a "buddy" lawyer, inside or outside your firm, that on a moment's notice you can lament to, bounce ideas off of, or share humor with. Have a "buddy" lawyer that can work with you on a file, or exchange difficult files.
5. Grateful File - Fill a special firm file with "thank-you's", well-wishes and positive notes that you receive and send. Send more than you receive. Say "thank you" often.
6. Grateful Display - Establish a shelf, credenza or wall for special gifts, "thank-you's" and awards received.
7. 5 Grateful Events - At day's end, maybe as you lay in bed, reflect on 5 grateful events in your day. Eventually, instead of focusing on the problems, you will be looking for grateful events during the day for reflection at day’s end.
8. Inspiring Quotes - Keep a file of inspiring quotes.
9. I Did Good - Once a day or more, pat yourself on the back.
10. You Did Good - Once a day or more, pat someone else on the back with a compliment, kind word, congratulations or a note.
11. Oh Boy - Each day, plan, anticipate and participate in a positive, fun or rewarding moment.
12. Nanny Forever - Keep your nanny after the children leave.
13. Decor - Make your office pleasant by incorporating plants and pictures.
14. That’s Enough - Accept that your effort is enough for one day, and be pleased.
15. Feel Good - Identify when you feel good, and repeat regularly that event or time.
Spiritual:
1. Be Alone - Take yourself away from work, responsibilities and commitments, and do absolutely nothing. Go to a quiet place (i.e. church, stream). Reflect. Go on a retreat.
2. Fantasize & Frolic - Understand the breadth of your horizon, your options and your opportunities. You have strived much to become a lawyer. Do not now put blinders on. Take the steps and changes needed to fulfil your dreams.
3. Soul - Nurture your soul, your spirit—the seed inside you—on a daily basis. Whatever your religion or faith, or if none, find your higher power. Say the Serenity Prayer.
4. Your Life Story - Have a vision as to where you want to end up, so that you know what to avoid spending time on. Eliminate unnecessary activities and things (less is more).

You are a uniquely gifted and talented individual with unique needs and interests. Not all the stated stressbuster tips will work for you. There may be variations of them which work for you, or there may be other tips which work for you. If so, and you permit, I may include your tips in future updates on this article for the benefit of our fellow lawyers (your name will not be included). I can be reached at (902) 629-3908, rprofit@pattersonpalmer.ca, or 20 Great George Street, P.O. Box 486, Charlottetown, PE C1A 7L1.

Ron Profit practices law at Patterson Palmer, Charlottetown, P.E.I.

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Table of Contents

1. Introduction

2. Finances

3. Firm Practice

4. Family

5. Friends

6. Fitness (Fun & Frolic)

Physical:

Emotional:

Stress Breaks:

Spiritual: