Gamble on 12 CPD credits.

By Tony Wilson

I have been on dozens of professional committees in my long and illustrious career at the Bar, but I’ve never been on one more interesting than the Organizing Committee of our B.C. Branch’s “Annual Conference Somewhere Reasonably Hot For 12 Easy CPD Credits While Possibly Hungover” Committee.

I confess the last thing I need are more CPD credits. Writing, lecturing, pontificating, teaching and bragging as much as I do for CLE, CBA, CFA, IBA, INTA, BCLI and SFU, I had more than 80 CPD credits last year. Next year, I’m planning to trade them like carbon credits for cases of New Zealand Pinot Noir with the poor sods who never have enough. But having gone to past years’ conferences in Phoenix and LA, I think it’s fabulous and would encourage you all to fly to Vegas to attend this year’s brew-ha-ha; if not for the 12 CPD credits, then for the copious amount of wine that seems to find its way to the bathtubs of the CBA hospitality suites, which is always paid for by the Branch’s immediate Past President, who traditionally dresses as Elvis on the conference’s first night. And if we’re lucky, Wally Oppal, QC may speak about sports. Or law. Or something.

The most interesting experience I’ve had on the Committee has been the hours and hours deciding on the name of a seminar that dealt with the prostitution laws in Nevada, or lack thereof, without offending anyone, and while making it legally relevant. There was “Sex and the City” (Zzzzzzz), “Sex, Law and Outlaws” (truly boring), “The Laws of Sin City”(truly unoriginal), and “No sex please... we’re lawyers” (truly untrue). I wanted to call it “Come to the Sex Seminar,” but I was outvoted because it didn’t have the word “law” in it.

Anyway, here’s a few of the other programs that are sure to be offered at this year’s Conference between November 17 and 20 at the Cosmo in Vegas:

U.S. Constitutional Law – A Primer: There’s an outfit in Vegas that caters to people from Canada who want to shoot guns to test America’s very strange constitutional laws. I for one would love to learn how to shoot an AK-47 in case Sarah Palin is correct and The End of Days is just around the corner. Or in case of Zombies. So for one CPD credit, you’ll learn everything you have to know about U.S. Constitutional Law, as well as how to shoot M-16’s, 9mm Glock’s and AK-47’s. Offered at 7:30 a.m. Sunday, just before church.

Brothel Law: Another interesting session designed to whip up controversy is the Vegas Brothel Law lecture, lead by Madame Sindi Spankalot, an experienced legal expert. Two CPD credits are available for this activity. Ethical/ professional development credits are not available for this session. Offered Saturday night, around midnight. Appropriate dress required. No weirdos please.

Gaming Law: 1.5 CPD ethics credits are available for this session, to be held on the $20 Black- jack tables at the east end of the Cosmo. The theme of the session is that gambling is morally evil and wrong. You will learn rules, options, advanced betting strategies and master charts for blackjack, including simplified card counting methods and how to get free rooms just for playing. The session will run for eight hours starting Sunday at 11:00 a.m., just after church. Serious players only.

Pharmaceutical Law: Offered Saturday morning at 8:30 a.m., this session will examine the legal issues surrounding the claims made by drug companies. What drug is the best cure for a hangover? Tylenol? Midol? Advil? Motrin? Cialis? Viagra? Attendees will be selected at random to perform a “blind test” of the various remedies and assess the validity of the claims. Two CPD credits.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Unless you bump into me.

Operators are standing by for your booking.

Vancouver Franchise Lawyer Tony Wilson practices at Boughton Law Corporation in Vancouver, and has written for the Globe and Mail, Macleans Magazine and Canadian Lawyer. twilson@boughton.ca | www.boughton.ca/people/lawyers/tony_wilson

This article was published in the June 2011 issue of BarTalk. © 2011 The Canadian Bar Association. All rights reserved.