Once Upon a Time...

by Tony Wilson

There was a really good lawyer who practiced at a firm filled with happy lawyers. They were so happy, they called their firm The Happy Firm. The Happy Firm had always had an eat what you kill philosophy, which was a good thing because those who wanted to work as hard as possible at the expense of their hearts, their marriages or their kids’ childhoods were free to do so; and those who liked to work a little less to save their hearts, their marriages and to see something of their kids were also free do to so. The only issue was money; Lawyer “A” getting great, voluminous whacks of it and Lawyer “B” getting much less, but happily choosing a more balanced lifestyle. Everyone seemed happy with the model, which was why they called it The Happy Firm.

One fine spring day, Gnomes from the mythical land of Tranna came to town to buy The Happy Firm, although many of the lawyers at The Happy Firm mistakenly thought it was a merger. Tranna was an important kingdom to the east where Gnomes were hardened by cold, dark winters, short humid summers, and a desire to rack up ridiculously high billable hours because there was little else to do there. The first thing the Gnomes did after assimilating The Happy Firm was to increase quotas and hourly rates to the levels the Gnomes were charging in their Tranna offices, notwithstanding the fact that neither The Happy Firm nor their clients were located anywhere near Tranna. This move effectively squeezed out anyone in The Happy Firm who wasn’t collecting $600,000 a year and included our very excellent lawyer, who was starting to get Gnomish memos about his failure to collect $600,000 a year.

The Gnomes were making life difficult for other lawyers who had been at The Happy Firm most of their lives. Many of these lawyers left The Happy Firm, and some were even escorted out of the office by security guards in much the same way people get escorted out in “24,” only with less torture. Others came into work only to find their passwords had been changed, which is also the sort of thing that happens in “24” before their characters are bumped off.

Around the same time, our good lawyer was doing a lot of work for a fairly substantial client. The client had heard there was a Big Problem at The Happy Firm, and asked: “why don’t you come work for us,” which is just what our good lawyer did. He gave his notice within the hour, but because he was going in-house with a big client, he wasn’t ushered to the door by security or otherwise given the Jack Bauer treatment.

And on his first day at the new job as in-house counsel with this long standing (and very important) client of The Happy Firm, he yanked every single file and moved it somewhere else, making it clear to the Gnomes they would never see another nickel in fees as long as he was there. He still is. The moral of the story is that human nature being what it is, turnabout is fair play, revenge is a dish best eaten cold, and sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. It’s a small world and an even smaller profession. Lawyers leave firms for a hundred different reasons. When they do, they become your alumni and an important source of goodwill and referrals. Law firms who treat their – soon to be – former lawyers badly will discover this lesson the hard way.

The End.

Vancouver Franchise Lawyer Tony Wilson practices at Boughton Law Corporation in Vancouver, and has written for the Globe and Mail, Macleans Magazine and Canadian Lawyer. twilson@boughton.ca | www.boughton.ca/people/lawyers/tony_wilson

This article was published in the August 2006 issue of BarTalk. © 2006 The Canadian Bar Association. All rights reserved.